Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Power of Prayer

Today my day began and ended with the reminder of the blessing of prayer in my life. As I was getting ready to walk out the door I heard my phone go off for a new email. I was in a rush and didn't get to look at it until after I got to school. Luckily I had a few minutes before class to read over the email. It was a missionary letter from a friend. What struck me most was just a simple line in his email... "I would try and help but I'll just have to include you in my prayers". He is serving in Portugal, and though he's thousands of miles away and can't physically do anything, it is so comforting to know that he can pray for me. And it was a sweet reminder to me this morning about the affect that my prayers can have on people, and the influence I can have. And then it made me wonder how often people do actually pray for me. And how often I've been helped because of their prayers. I was definitely humbled and feeling grateful for such a blessing in my life.
And then I was able to have another experience tonight with my fiancé. I began feeling so overwhelmed with everything going on in my life right now, feeling frustrated even. So I decided to turn to the LDS app on my phone. Searching through general conference talks and reading scriptures. After some time of that I still felt so overwhelmed, like I was going to burst into tears at any moment. It was already late at this point, so before Jacob left I asked him to pray with me. As he finished the prayer I just poured out into tears. Not being able to handle the stress anymore. And he held me and let me cry for a little bit and then he told me he was going to pray again. And he said a prayer me. He prayed for my comfort and for strength, and by the end of the prayer I was able to calm down.
I am so incredibly grateful for Jacob. He tells me all the time that I'm beautiful and amazing. But I don't think I tell him enough how wonderful he is. And how much of a strength he is to me. I'm so grateful for the power of prayer. For the comfort it provides me, for the strength. And for the wonderful reminders I had of its power today.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I Stand All Amazed

I'm a few weeks past easter and even a week past general conference, but it's alas it's never too late/the wrong time to share my gratitude for my Savior.
I'll admit, I've been lost, hopeless, feeling alone even when I'm most certainly not. But lately I've been trying so hard to change and to make things better. Because I know without a doubt that through the gospel, and the Lord, and Jesus Christ that there is a way. And that there is happiness. And yet for far too long it's been far too easy to not do it. Something that seems so minuscule has such a huge impact. Today I found myself down on me knees praying for the Lord's help. I needed help to move forward. I needed confirmation that I'm going down the right path. I needed to feel that love that I pushed away for who knows what reason for too long. As I sat there praying, earnestly seeking relief because it feels like I've made so much change and that I've been trying so hard to be better, I finally said Heavenly Father please just help me make up in some way for the things I can't do. And then it finally hit me. He does.
I was instantly reminded of a story told in seminary. I'll try my best to paraphrase. The parable of the bike I think it was called. There was a little girl who wanted to buy a bike. So her and her father made a deal that she would do chores and earn money, and in turn she could use that money to buy a bike. She worked so hard to do all her chores and she would even go out of her way doing more, doing everything she could to earn money. And after a while she went back to her father and told him that she had everything she earned, that she'd been saving it for this, not even buying candy or anything. So he took her to the bike shop and she feel in love with a bike. She handed him everything she had been saving up, but when they looked at the price tag it wasn't nearly enough. She was so disheartened, she had worked so hard. So her father made her another deal, he was going to pay for the difference.
That is exactly what the Savior does for us. That is exactly what the atonement is. I have been working hard, and though it felt like I wasn't doing enough, that I couldn't do enough, I was reminded that the Savior can. That he has. He did it for me, and I assure you that he did it for you too. I am beyond grateful for that reminder. It was exactly what I needed. Along with that I was blessed today to be reminded of the love and support I have from the people around me. It felt so good. And again it was exactly what I needed.
I believe in a living God, I know he is there and that he loves me, I know that he does so much for me, more that I could ever do for him. I am beyond grateful for the knowledge of him in my life. I've made my fair share of mistakes. And it has been unbelievably hard at times. I'm so grateful for the Lord's love. And for the sweet reminders of it that I received today. They couldn't have come at a better time.


And on the note of gratitude, here's a catch up of my life as of lately through pictures on my phone...

Easter weekend Jacob and I were hoping to go to Oklahoma, but it didn't workout. His parent's did go though, and mine were on their way home from California. Last minute, aka like 7:30-8 on Saturday night we decided to dye easter eggs, and I may have been wanting to bake, so we went to HEB to get all of our supplies. On the way back Jacob saw a Thai restaurant and decided to call his brother Stephen and tell him about it, and before they ended their conversation Jacob invited him to come dye eggs with us. He seemed at first like he wouldn't make it, but he did. And I'm so glad, we had a great time with him. I am so grateful for family. Ever since Jacob and I started dating, his family has always been so kind to me. It meant so much to me living away from home. I am so grateful for them and for my family. I am who I am today because of them. I keep a letter in my scriptures that one of my sisters wrote me quite some time ago, and in it there's a line that says 'I don't judge because I can't, I've been there and done that and I don't want to be judged" and that has stuck with me ever since. No matter what, family is family. Whether I was born into it, or am marrying into it. I am so grateful for the love and support I receive from both sides.


On Sunday after church Jacob and I drove to Katy. Let me emphasis this. In the 4-5ish hours we were gone, from the time we left to the time we got back, the majority (almost 3 hours) of it was driving time. Well, of him driving. Lol.


We got there and cooked dinner for my parents, who were getting home from California. And I finally got my car back. Okay let me take a few months back. In December, my brother Stephen (yes, we both have a Stephen haha) and his soon to be wife Caitlin were in town from California. Here for their wedding and baby shower. She flew in and he drove his little Honda Accord. Well after a wedding shower, a baby shower, and the wedding itself, the little car wasn't gonna cut it on the drive back. So they took my car. 4 months later after sweet baby Isabella was born my parents went up to visit them and the baby (I'm still super jealous BTW, I wish I could of gone, they need to hurry up and move back so I can meet her) and now I have my car back. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I could help them out. But did I mention I'm glad to be in my car again? Lol.


So glad!


And I'm so so SO grateful for Jacob. He is a complete goofball, but never fails to make me smile when I least want or when I'm trying so hard not to. He is so loving and supportive and never lets me forget. He is my best friend and the best fiancé/soon to be husband I could have ever imagined.